Questionably Fabulous

Being single is exciting, sad, empowering, unpredictable and always lonely. I’m recently divorced and have been dating for the past several months.

The divorce was devastating.

Anyone who has been through one could confess to its sheer ability to strip away your soul, prick your heart and annihilate your self-esteem.

Despite the obvious pain, embarrassment and being the source of gossip among all your friends, frienemies and acquaintances – there is one spectacular thing about being single again.

You can have sex with whoever will have sex with you and there is no guilt of infidelity.

The first woman I felt connected to since my ex-wife was a 29-year-old divorcee. We met a college alumni event and began dating. Things were wonderful for the first six weeks.

We talked on the phone and emailed incessantly. We talked about introducing one another to our families and how amazing the future seemed. We thought we were the ones we had been waiting to meet. And the sex was fabulous.

She introduced me to her parents and I passed the test. They liked me. I made a good impression with lots of smiles, chatting about my work, family and my athletic endeavors as a marathon runner and baseball player.

All seemed to be heading toward prolonged stability. Then there was a sudden and unexpected change.

She communicated through a text message that she needed space and would no longer be taking my calls. I was shocked.

I did what any sensitive guy would do. I apologized for whatever upset her and begged for an opportunity to correct things.

That was as far as I got. She ended it in a text message. The age of digital communication and all its unlimited and convenient ways to share your thoughts with someone had been the death blow.

An overwhelming depression struck.

I had just emerged from a divorce; got my courage up to open my heart to another woman and it resulted in rejection, again.

I spent the weekend in a funk, whining to my best friend and wondering what I did wrong. The reasons were never made clear, so I was left to pick up the pieces and move on.

Within a few days, I contacted a woman who I was wildly attracted but met when I was married.

She was a professional contact who looked stunning in a pant suit. I got my courage up and called. A day passed before I was pleasantly surprised with a return call. We made plans to meet for dinner the next night.

Within the first week, we saw one another three times, talked on the phone several times a day, exchanged text messages and agreed it was the start of something good.

The next weekend, she told me she was going to spend the weekend out of town with a friend who recently underwent comprehensive plastic surgery. I thought that was a nice gesture and we agreed to see one another when she returned home.

The text messaging continued on the trip until a goodnight message I sent was returned.

Then my phone rang and her number appeared.

However, when I answered the voice on the other end was deep.

The man asked why I was texting his girl?

Stunned, I asked to speak with the girl who I thought was mine but he clearly believed was his own.

He woke her and handed over the phone. I asked her what was going on. Who was this guy and why was he calling me with her phone? She didn’t respond instead asking the man with her why he had gotten into her phone.

The phone call ended. I called back the next day and left a message asking her for clarity.

I still haven’t heard back, so another one bites the dust.

Depression struck me again. I stayed in bed most of the morning and early afternoon. When I did shower, I felt like collapsing into a ball and crying.  Again, I asked myself what I did wrong. Why am I being rejected by the woman I want? Am I too nice? Am I too eager to romance them with compliments and terms of endearment?

So I’ll spend the next few days second guessing myself again and waiting for the phone to ring. Then I’ll move on and start the game again.