Questionably Fabulous

There comes a time in any relationship where you have “the talk” and it’s never something that is easy to approach or necessarily comfortable.  Cause the reality of the whole situation is that if the two people engaged in the relationship were on the same page, “the talk” would be totally pointless.

The need for “the talk” usually arises out of conflict, or misunderstanding, or something where one person’s expectations weren’t met… 

IE – Girl runs into boy at a bar where he is flirting with another woman.   Girl thought they were exclusively dating, boy did not.  Time for “the talk”.

It occurred to me this week that there are other types of relationships that sometimes need “the talk”. 

I got the current job I have through a very round about way.  Linda, my boss, is a friend of a woman who took a class with my fiancé and another mutual friend.  One weekend my fiancé’s classmates were in town visiting and were staying with Linda.  We had dinner together, drinks, and went wine tasting throughout the course of the weekend.  Linda and I exchanged contact info and had been friendly since.

Several months later, these same friends were in town again and we all met over brunch.  Your typical small talk was made, I happened to mention my job hunt, Linda vented about needing someone in her department.  Thus a match was made.

I really like my job, I feel confident (most of the time) that I’m doing my job well and am exceeding the expectations of my superiors. 

Linda, I thought, was going to be an easy going, laid back boss who worked hard and played hard and expected the same of her employees.  While planning my wedding, I anticipated that I’d be able to make a phone call here or there and send an email when necessary to do things like set vendor appointments or request information – because like most people I work during business hours!  I don’t want to give the impression that I’ve been spending my whole day everyday doing this sort of thing.  I do my work diligently, typically finishing tasks given to me in advance of when they are due, thus ending up with a spare 5 or 10 minutes here or there.  And let the record also show that I also NEVER take a lunch break.  So I thought, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my job it should be no big deal.  And since Linda and I are friends, she’d let me do it no problem. 

Boy, was I wrong.

Linda approached me yesterday and warned me about using work time to work on my wedding. Immediately I took this as what it appear to be, a friend coming to me out of concern for what my superiors would think if they saw I was working on my wedding.

But then I realized, wait, she is my superior.  The only other “bosses” I have don’t even work in the same building as me so how would they ever know? 

Is it time for “the talk” between Linda and I?  I’m inclined to say no, based on two things.  1) After getting over my initial hurt feelings about her reprimanding me, I realized that she was really my boss and therefore had every right to say what she said.  2) Since we started working together we haven’t hung out socially at all.

So, is there a need for “the talk” I don’t thinks so, I think that its pretty clear what our relationship is.  We are coworkers.  Which begs the question, did I get dumped?