Questionably Fabulous

I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane

Today is my last day at the winery where I work.  I am really sad to be going in some ways and I simply cannot wait to run outta here and yell FREEDOM (like Mel Gibson did in “Braveheart”) or sing “School’s Out for Summa”… 

Its easier for me to review my reasons for the excitement coursing through my veins.  My boss is a tad bit crazy and often asks me to do the weirdest of tasks – most of which are HER job and not mine…  Such as doing her expense reports.  I made the mistake of HELPING her with it the first week I was here – I thought it was reasonable since she said she didn’t know how to insert the formulas into excel.  Boy was I naive!  Fast forward months and months later and I’m still doing them for her.  I will not miss working for her. 

I will also not miss the long hours here.  Doing special events (like weddings) are wonderful – I actually cry at each and every one of them, moved with emotion…But having to get to the winery at 10 am and not leaving until 11 pm is a little wearing.  Plus, bridezilla?  Nothing compared to the Momzilla (mother of the bride). 

Then there is the pay.  Ah yes, the pay.  In a fit or rage I calculated exactly what I make per hour – adding in the 6^th day I typically work (at every other week) and the more than 8 hours daily I put in and the fact that I work through lunch etc. I also took into account how much money I spend on getting to work – the half hour commute is only annoying when I think about how much money does into the gas tank.  No joke, I’d make the same amount if I walked to a Starbucks and worked there! 

Things I will miss about my current job are the people.  I have wonderful chats with several girls in the office and in the tasting room, I love to joke about my boss with them as they all share the same opinion of her and we have a blast tasting the wines when it comes round to writing up reviews and comparing the actual to the projected nose, mouth and finish of each vintage. 

And being the alcoholic I am, I will miss the industry discount of 30 to 40% at all Central Coast Wineries. 

I was talking with my colleague yesterday at lunch, she mentioned that they were interviewing someone for my position and I got all offended.  It was shocking – like why was I offended?  I’m leaving for a way better position at a way more stable company and will be making way more money…  Its not like I was fired or demoted or something!

After I thought about it for a minute I realized that the reason I was offended as because for a second I felt a little threatened.  Like I had to compete for my old job with this new person…  WHAT? 

So why am I feeling that way?  Because I am inherently insecure.  I want them to be sad taht I’m leaving like Liv Tyler was in “Armageddon” when Ben Affleck went off to save the world and they sang that song while they kissed and it was so sappy…  I want to be loved like that.  Even at work.  See, part of me really wants to leave them totally in the lurch and have them realize, once I’m gone, that I am irreplaceable and no one can compare to me and they should have paid me more and valued me more and loved me more and told me how great I was everyday and none of this has anything to do with them!

Ah, daddy issues rear their ugly heads again…