Questionably Fabulous

So I’m hosting Christmas.  We have my mother and her sister, my aunt, who are both staying in my room while my fiancé and I sleep on the sleeper sofa.  Why aren’t they staying in the guest room?  Because we also have my fiancé’s brother and his wife staying with us.  My fiancé’s mother and her husband and her husband’s father are staying at a hotel less than 5 miles away.  Wow. 

The merging of families. 

No doubt my mother, aunt and future-mother-in-law are like three peas in a pod.  My fiancé’s stepfather told me without any hesitation that while grocery shopping it was like watching an episode of I love Lucy but there were three Ethels.  Oh the joy. 

We all played Apples to Apples last night, a harmless game that my fiancé bought “the family” so that we’d have something to do after dinner in the event that people needed to escape from actually conversating.  And by people I mean he and I.  Seriously.  We love our families but they are a WHOLE lot to handle.  I must give an enormous THANK YOU to our neighbors who not only came to dinner but sat right in the middle of the large table and distracted, I mean talked with my family while I sat at the “kid’s table” and got to relax for a second.  You two are not only brave but amazing friends. 

So the first several rounds of Apples to Apples went really well, lots of laughter and funny stories and stretches of the imagination.  And then my future-stepfather-in-law turn a wrong turn.  And my future-mother-in-law followed suit.  I shudder thinking about it. 

The green card word was – oh shit, I don’t even remember what the word was!  But the red card that my future-stepfather-in-law played was “Bruce Willis”.  Which really could have been described in a number of rated G ways.  Or even PG-13.  But no…  He goes through this long diatribe about PlayGirl and the first centerfold…  Now, I’m not saint, but I have no clue who the first PlayGirl Centerfold was – but we look over at my future-mother-in-law and she’s bright red, fighting a fit of school girl giggles and fanning herself. 

As if that weren’t enough. 

My future-stepfather-in-law flips over his red card, revealing Bruce Willis and we all go “REALLY?” with a gasp.  And my future-mother-in-law looks at us, bits her lower lip and makes a hand gesture that should be reserved for the Subway $5 Foot Long commercials, if you catch my drift…