Questionably Fabulous

Did Christmas surprise anyone this year?  I mean, did it sneak up on you?  Cause it sure as hell did me. 

And for those of you snickering and thinking “News Flash AC – Christmas is always on the same day every!”  Just shut the hell up.  I know it always on 12/25 but it seems like the year literally ROLLED by and subsequently ran me over.  Wasn’t it just February like a second ago?  I mean, I JUST moved to California for Christ’s sake! 

I read a blog a few moments ago which suggested that we should celebrate Christmas the way we do the Olympics, once every four years.  This seems much more plausible to me and here is my case:

~ You can tolerate your family only so much, if we did Christmas every four years this would be an ideal reason to only see your annoying Uncle X twice in a decade.  I say yes. 

~ Gift giving would be expected to be bigger and call me selfish but I like bigger gifts. 

~ Gift giving would be less frequent and with the economy being the way it was this year I think we’d all have a huge sigh of relief.  Plus, kids would be less materialistic / spoiled.

~ Christian would be happy as the focus of Christ’s Birth could be highlighted instead of the pagan tradition of exchanging gifts. 

~ Vacation days at work could be used for actual VACATION instead of being used to do the obligatory migration home (aka the place you escaped from on purpose). 

~ December would no longer equal long lines at airports. 

~ Sales would no longer have a “down time” and I could make some freaking commissions. 

~ Suicidal rates would be down and the death of loved ones wouldn’t necessarily coincide with a holiday.  When people close to you pass around the Christmas holiday that day is forever a reminder of a huge loss instead of the celebration it was meant to be about.  Plus, those that are “hanging on till the holidays” would hang around a little bit longer.

~ Christmas cards would be more interesting.  If I got to survey the last four years of my life and sum that up in a letter (or poem like I did this year) it’d be a helluv a lot funner.  I could say things like “hey, I moved to Baltimore then to California, I bought a house which lead to feeling like I got robbed on the subway with a simultaneous raping, I got my heart broken three time but really wasn’t in love at all it turns out cause then I met the man of my dreams” think of how entertaining and schizophrenic that’d be to read! 

~ My weight wouldn’t yo yo quite as much in the winter.  Although I’m sure that if I didn’t pig out every Christmas I would find a different reason to gain a few lbs and then work my arse off at the gym. 

So anyway, that’s my reasoning.  Let me know if you agree.