Questionably Fabulous

This past weekend I had a classic GNO only it wasn’t the kind of classic as I wanted it to be. This Girls’ Night Out was anything but fabulous, it was strange and twisted and confusing and full of puzzlement. And I wasn’t the only one who felt that way, two of my wildest and most regular of mayhem causers were along for the ride and all three of us kept saying things like:

Is this really happening?

Where are we?

Are you seeing what I’m seeing?

And the real question we ended up asking ourselves is: IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS AND WE’RE JUST USALLY WASTED OR ARE WE IN SOME KIND OF TIME WARP?

So, this, I suppose, should be a two part answer. First of all lets just examine the fact that it is entirely possible that when we go out we don’t usually notice those around us as much as we did this past weekend. This could be for three main reasons:

1) Usually we drink before hand so that we save money, meaning we’re usually buzzed already when we go out. On Saturday we were all stone cold sober. None of us drank anything before leaving my house. Ok, that is a lie, I had a Bud Light Lime, hardly what you’d call pre partying.

2) Previous to Saturday whenever we’d gone out we were three women all in fully committed relationships, one of us is now on the prowl (no duh its not me).

3) We are far too self absorbed usually to notice anyone besides those around us and those who could buy us or get us free drinks.

I’d like to hope that it is either number one or two or a combination of both. The third options is prolly true but I don’t wanna admit it.

The second thing we need to examine is the possibility that we were caught in some kind of time warp, or rather, there is a time-warp-like epidemic happening in San Luis Obispo. This is the one I find more fascinating cause to be honest, if I had been able to take pictures of this oddity that was my GNO you’d all be laughing your arses off and shaking your heads wondering if, in fact, you too were somehow transported to the land of SAY WHAT?!

My ladies and I have only a few places in SLO that we go out dancing. We aren’t trying to be snooty what-so-ever, all of us adore the pubs in town and I actually prefer them usually but when I’m in need of a good bootay shake and a roudy night out with the gals there are only a few options. And these are the places where there is a cover and a dress code and expensive booze. And these are also the places where, when in search of creating a debacle, you’re most likely to find exactly what you’re looking for.

Upon approaching our first stop we noticed that there was quite a long line. And it was only 10:30 so we weren’t sure what was going on. Clearly the first thing out of my spoiled little impatient mouth was “I don’t do lines.” But meant it in totally jest, kinda. The second thing out of my mouth was “Um, is this a private party?” The three of us surveyed the 10 or so people in line ahead of us… The men were all dressed in shorts and casual (aka ratty) tees topped (or bottomed rather) with sandals and sneakers. Typically the men are in nice jeans and a graphic tee or something nicer so this was a little odd. Plus, I’ve personally shown up with guy friends with hats or flops and had them turned away so I was confused. The ladies, huff, the ladies were a sad showing. They were in embarrassingly out of date dresses with flops too, and I’m not talking about ladies who are “ahead of their time” or able to pull off something totally outlandish… These did not work on them and it just looked completely out of place. And I don’t care how in flats and stuff are right now. Unless you have the entire package pulled together it does not work for the bar/club scene. It just doesn’t. Believe me. Please.

Hoping that this crew was the exception to the rule we went in anyway. It was a $2 cover so again we thought, um, where are we? Proceeding to the bar and taking our first lap around the place with drink in hand we saw more and more examples of people who just weren’t belonging at this type of dance club. IT WAS JUST STRANGE I TELL YOU. Again, I don’t want to come off as a total beotch, I’ve dressed just as slouchy and comfortable and cute and casual as all of these people just not at this particular type of bar. And that is the point I’m trying to make.

The only answer I can come up with is that perhaps the college in town is having some sort of early orientation and people weren’t expecting to go out so they didn’t have the right clothes and were “forced” to go as is. To those people I say “You shudda gone to a pub!” The only evidence I have to support this theory is that when we walked into my favorite hole-in-the-wall bar and saw the same types of people it felt a little more normal and I was instantly put at ease.

Ok, so there really is no point to my tirade at all here, I just had to tell everyone what an incredibly weird night I had on Saturday. Oh yea, and there was also a lady at one of the bars in full Madonna Gloves a-la Like-A-Virgin-Video complete with a mini top hat. So strange.