Questionably Fabulous

A friend from college and I have been back in touch through Facebook recently, and I have to admit that I am thoroughly pleased I accepted her friend request.  To be completely honest I wasn’t sure I was going to…  In college we weren’t exactly “friends”.  We were in a sorority together and as many of my sorority sisters can attest to, I wasn’t exactly a model sister. 

You see, as you maybe can tell from reading my site, I’m not exactly a “go along with the crowd” type of gal.  And when I got into the sorority I thought it was going to be a place where friends were made, either we were automatically all going to be friends or there would be smaller groups of friends and that would be ok, because in reality, 60 girls are never going to get along all the time.  I was wrong.  Because I didn’t meld into the chipper poster child for my sorority I think some of the older sister didn’t accept me right away and then I got bitter and no one likes a Bitter Betty.  I think in the end, I didn’t give myself much of a chance to become friends with some of them and therefore I take full responsibility for the “failure” of my own sisterhood…  but I am fully digressing now.  To wrap this paragraph up in a little bow I’d like to say that it turns our we’ve all grown since college (shocker) and those I have been in touch with on Facebook are now really entertaining parts of my day where I get to reconnect and develop the friendships I missed out on in college.  One of them, bless her heart, even offered to take my Questionably Fabulous Dog, Bob Marley, for me when I move to London! 

Ok, so on to this particular sister…  She was and always will be known to me by her maiden name…  Since it started with a V I sometimes referred to her as Venom while I was pledging as she was not the nicest to the pledges.  She was a senior at the time and fully tired and stressed from preparing to graduate.  Looking back I was the same was that final semester, I didn’t have time to shit around let along be bothered by little giggling girls wanting so desperately for my approval.  Anyway, after getting in I found that still she was not the warmest character in the house.  I don’t mean she wasn’t nice, she was tons of fun and if you were ever in trouble you totally wanted her in your corner.  Like me, she had a mouth like a trucker – f this and f that, there was a ho-bag there and a ho-bag here, there a dip shit, here a dip-shit, everywhere an asshole.  It as a regular swear fest which I fully appreciated.  Still to this day when I am fully frustrated I’ll just say “f22k that mother f22ker f22k face f22king f22k” which clearly means NOTHING but feels a little therapeutic. 

So one of Venom’s most recent Facebook posts was as follows “was driving and let some skanky girls cross the road. They did not wave thanks so I said to myself, “You’re Welcome, Whores” and carried on my way. Forgetting for a minute [my four year old daughter] was in the backseat until she says, “Mommy, that wasn’t a horse…that was a girl!” Now, I may pride myself in being a humorist and a writer, but I’m not a professional talent scout.  Still, I think this girl has got a great future ahead of her!!!